Man Who Hates the Algorithm Named Employee of the Month
He calls it resistance. The dashboard calls it excellent retention.
FROM THE MASTHEAD
Ruby Morrow
Ruby Morrow reports from the thin strip of pavement between what public officials announce and what actually happens.
Her interests include cultural institutions, strategic plans, government sincerity, public art with an invoice, and the peculiar resilience of organizations that have forgotten what they were created to do.
FROM THIS DESK
Literary Rebel Refreshes Submission Portal During Speech Against Gatekeepers
The establishment is dead to him. His application is still pending.
Site News: Office Chair Promoted to Associate Editor
The chair has shown consistency, availability, and a strong record of supporting staff.
Dispatch from the Laundromat Vending Machine
The machine sells detergent, dryer sheets, and one item nobody remembers stocking.
Site News: Editorial Standards Lowered to Reach Shelf
After years of ambitious placement, the standards have been moved somewhere everyone can reach.
Site News: Broken Zine Acquires One More Extension Cord
Expansion continues despite a complete absence of strategic planning.
Dispatch from the 24-Hour Pharmacy at 3:17 A.M.
Everyone needs something at 3:17 a.m. Nobody wants to explain it.
Dispatch from the Parking Garage Level That Doesn’t Exist
A field report from P4½, where lost errands and one suspicious shopping cart continue operating without supervision.
The Motel That Charged Extra for Hope
Bad economics, worse signage, excellent parking.
City Unveils Nation’s First Emotional-Support Pothole
Officials say the crater has already helped three motorists feel less alone.
City Introduces Bench That Requires a Free Trial Before Sitting
The first seven minutes are complimentary. Standing is still ad-supported.
Department of Second Thoughts Announces Expanded Hours
The agency will now remain open until 2 a.m., when most regrettable emails are traditionally composed.
Local Poet Declared Missing After Reading Submission Guidelines to the End
Witnesses say the writer was last seen somewhere between the third formatting requirement and the clause about simultaneous submissions.